I don't know if I can do this

I am tired. 

I am tired of watching everything that goes into my mouth, and writing it down (which I usually don't do) and counting the points (which I've been doing even less). I am tired of feeling guilty every time I leave a restaurant because I find it impossible to count exactly how many points I've eaten, and if I try, I spend my entire (previously enjoyable) meal doing mental math. 

I want this to be easier. I want to just agree to go to these meetings every week and lose weight. Sounds like a fair deal to me. I'm paying my money. I'm going to the meetings. Its everything else that I'm having a hard time with.

I just want to quit!

Then think about how awful it feels to be overweight - the health problems, the low self-esteem, the lace of energy - and realize that I don't really have a choice. As much as I hate counting every calorie that I consume, I hate feeling fat even more. 

So, I will go to weigh-in today - even though it is not going to be pretty -  and I will vow once again to start over.